Getting the Biggest Bang For your Buck.

aka “Narkissos’ Condom & Lube Review.”

NarkSide: Captain’s log – May 29th 2013

Sexual Health is an area of general health that nobody likes to talk about  out-loud. Fitness professionals stay away from the topic, because
sex won’t make  you a better runner, or give you a heavier deadlift, or affect body composition  (although, personally, I disagree on this
latter perspective; primarily because  regular sex keeps me lean as hell). Besides, talking to a client about sex in  today’s society could
be grounds for a  lawsuit.


In a nutshell, Fitness  Professionals avoid talking about sex (legal/ethical/’moral’ issues aside)  because they don’t see it as being ‘relevant’ to Fitness.

I disagree.  Great sex makes everything else better.

It brings couples closer, it reduces  stress (or helps individuals better handles stress), as well as positively  affects the heart and
other systems. Great sex, in my opinion, is an important  facet of Fitness and Health both.

I’ve digressed however. Today’s entry  was supposed to be more specific: Condoms and Lubricants…the unsung heroes of  horizontal aerobics.

I’ll be honest: I’ve never been a fan of condoms…  However, I’m also not a big fan of dying from an STD; so I’ve shopped around.  Over the
years, I’ve become a condom snob. You’ve got to be, if you plan on  consistently using them…right?

My issue? Most were too small. Others were  poorly contoured. The majority? Too thick.

Guys would know: a too-tight  condom is an erection killer. Anything that could, plausibly, squeeze the blood  out of the head of the penis
is an erection killer. Too thick condoms are also  erection killers, especially for guys who are circumcised. The limited  sensitivity of the
head of the penis post-circumcision, coupled with the  sensation-deadening effect of a too-thick condom is a double negative.
Great for  people who suffer with premature ejaculation. Not great for Joe  Average.


Condoms: my top three
#3 Durex XXL

Durex has a fairly  varied line of prophylactics and related products. A lot of them seem to be  sized too small however. Durex XXL corrects this

Pros: It’s  just about the right fit.

It’s way too thick. Really, they should have  given this condom the thickness of their “Extra Sensitive” condom. It would have
been a game changer.

#2 Trojan Magnum

Honestly, magnum has been my #1  condom for some time. It’s a perfect fit really. Not too thick. Perfect for the  guy who has a little
extra…whether that ‘extra’ is length or thickness (well,  unless you’re part-horse…in which case, I have no words).

Pros: Great  Fit. Great shape/contouring.

Cons: Claims to be lubricated… but doesn’t feel that way; so it requires a drop  of lube/saliva to get things going ~ (see the lubricant
discussion later in this  post). Also, though not ‘thick’, it would be great if it were thinner. Apparently there is a ‘magnum thin’, but I’ve
yet to see, acquire, or try it.

#1  Pasante Black Velvet

This brand is interesting. Though the Black Velvet  Condom is supposed to be roomier, it isn’t a magnum by any stretch. Don’t get me  wrong,
it’s a very good fit. This condom wins for me because it’s lubricated,  well-contoured, a (snug but) decent fit, and because it’s black.

Yea.  Black.

Roll it on. Look down. Looks like if you dick is wearing a  crime-fighting costume.

(Cue: bad pun about the Dark Knight  Rising.)

Pros: everything mentioned above

Cons: Given that your  cloaked penis now looks like a night-stick, you may be tempted to assault  someone with it.

No. Seriously.

While I do hope that they come out with a slightly bigger version of this condom, I’m pretty happy with it at present.

Moving on!

A slippery Topic

I’m  winding down this post, as it’s a bit longer than I had anticipated. Still, I  can’t end without touching the age-old debate: “what’s better? Water-based  lubricants or silicon-based lubricants?”

Our competitors? KY Jelly (the  standard), vs Astroglide.

The winner, for me?

Honestly? I was disappointed by both of them.

However, KY won this round for me by a  mile.

Comparatively, KY goes longer, further, and interacts better with  saliva and other bodily fluids. Astroglide, though touted as ‘hardcore’,
simply  dries out too fast, and doesn’t play well with others (bodily fluids et  al).

My issues with KY are that it dries faster than I’d like, and it’s cold. I mean, it warms up quickly  but it is inherently cold. This can be circumvented (I hear), by using their  “warming oil” product…which is also water-based.

p.s. Feel free to add comments about your preferred lube in the replies below. I’m definitely up for trying new brands and products.

In the meantime though… Stock up, and  get your partnered cardio on!

Yours in fitness,
-C. “Narkissos” Springer
Owner of:
“The  NarkSide” Fitness Forums
Apollo Fitness  Barbados
NarkSide Apparel


Related Articles:
Need help in the bedroom? Fish Oil may be your Answer! ~
6 Sex Myths as Explained by Science ~
Lack of Sex May Be Killing You ~
How Creative Flow is Like Sex ~
Male and Female Orgasm: Not so different? ~
Want more testosterone? Try D-aspartic! ~

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s