aka “Narkissos’ Condom & Lube Review.”
NarkSide: Captain’s log – May 29th 2013
Sexual Health is an area of general health that nobody likes to talk about out-loud. Fitness professionals stay away from the topic, because
sex won’t make you a better runner, or give you a heavier deadlift, or affect body composition (although, personally, I disagree on this
latter perspective; primarily because regular sex keeps me lean as hell). Besides, talking to a client about sex in today’s society could
be grounds for a lawsuit.
In a nutshell, Fitness Professionals avoid talking about sex (legal/ethical/’moral’ issues aside) because they don’t see it as being ‘relevant’ to Fitness.
I disagree. Great sex makes everything else better.
It brings couples closer, it reduces stress (or helps individuals better handles stress), as well as positively affects the heart and
other systems. Great sex, in my opinion, is an important facet of Fitness and Health both.
I’ve digressed however. Today’s entry was supposed to be more specific: Condoms and Lubricants…the unsung heroes of horizontal aerobics.
I’ll be honest: I’ve never been a fan of condoms… However, I’m also not a big fan of dying from an STD; so I’ve shopped around. Over the
years, I’ve become a condom snob. You’ve got to be, if you plan on consistently using them…right?
My issue? Most were too small. Others were poorly contoured. The majority? Too thick.
Guys would know: a too-tight condom is an erection killer. Anything that could, plausibly, squeeze the blood out of the head of the penis
is an erection killer. Too thick condoms are also erection killers, especially for guys who are circumcised. The limited sensitivity of the
head of the penis post-circumcision, coupled with the sensation-deadening effect of a too-thick condom is a double negative.
Great for people who suffer with premature ejaculation. Not great for Joe Average.
Condoms: my top three
#3 Durex XXL
Durex has a fairly varied line of prophylactics and related products. A lot of them seem to be sized too small however. Durex XXL corrects this
Pros: It’s just about the right fit.
Cons: It’s way too thick. Really, they should have given this condom the thickness of their “Extra Sensitive” condom. It would have
been a game changer.
#2 Trojan Magnum
Honestly, magnum has been my #1 condom for some time. It’s a perfect fit really. Not too thick. Perfect for the guy who has a little
extra…whether that ‘extra’ is length or thickness (well, unless you’re part-horse…in which case, I have no words).
Pros: Great Fit. Great shape/contouring.
Cons: Claims to be lubricated… but doesn’t feel that way; so it requires a drop of lube/saliva to get things going ~ (see the lubricant
discussion later in this post). Also, though not ‘thick’, it would be great if it were thinner. Apparently there is a ‘magnum thin’, but I’ve
yet to see, acquire, or try it.
#1 Pasante Black Velvet
This brand is interesting. Though the Black Velvet Condom is supposed to be roomier, it isn’t a magnum by any stretch. Don’t get me wrong,
it’s a very good fit. This condom wins for me because it’s lubricated, well-contoured, a (snug but) decent fit, and because it’s black.
Roll it on. Look down. Looks like if you dick is wearing a crime-fighting costume.
(Cue: bad pun about the Dark Knight Rising.)
Pros: everything mentioned above
Cons: Given that your cloaked penis now looks like a night-stick, you may be tempted to assault someone with it.
While I do hope that they come out with a slightly bigger version of this condom, I’m pretty happy with it at present.
A slippery Topic
I’m winding down this post, as it’s a bit longer than I had anticipated. Still, I can’t end without touching the age-old debate: “what’s better? Water-based lubricants or silicon-based lubricants?”
Our competitors? KY Jelly (the standard), vs Astroglide.
The winner, for me?
Honestly? I was disappointed by both of them.
However, KY won this round for me by a mile.
Comparatively, KY goes longer, further, and interacts better with saliva and other bodily fluids. Astroglide, though touted as ‘hardcore’,
simply dries out too fast, and doesn’t play well with others (bodily fluids et al).
My issues with KY are that it dries faster than I’d like, and it’s cold. I mean, it warms up quickly but it is inherently cold. This can be circumvented (I hear), by using their “warming oil” product…which is also water-based.
p.s. Feel free to add comments about your preferred lube in the replies below. I’m definitely up for trying new brands and products.
In the meantime though… Stock up, and get your partnered cardio on!
Need help in the bedroom? Fish Oil may be your Answer! ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16581
6 Sex Myths as Explained by Science ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=9046
Lack of Sex May Be Killing You ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13368
How Creative Flow is Like Sex ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13200
Male and Female Orgasm: Not so different? ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13199
Want more testosterone? Try D-aspartic! ~ www.getnarked.net/forum/showthread.php?t=14769